Sunday, December 6, 2009

Twas the Night Before Christmas, NASCAR Style

Twas' the night before Christmas.
And all through NASCAR land
Not an official was a stirring.

All the tools were hung up with care.
Nothing more to tweak this year.

The crew chiefs were all nestled with the ones they love
While visions of the next season danced in their heads.

Mike Helton in his office, and Jim Hunter resting,
Had just settled down for along season review.

When out on the track there arose such a clatter,
Helton sprang from his chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, he flew like a flash,
He tore open the curtains and threw open the window.

The moon shown down on the road below
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
but 42 race cars, with 42 drivers,

With a familar veteran, so lively and quick,
He knew in a moment it must be King Richard.

More rapid than wild mustangs his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted and called them by name;

"Now Smoke! Now Newman! Now Gordon and Kahne! On Harvick! On Martin! On Hamlin and everyone else!"

Get your cars to the start/finish line!
Now Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

The winner of this race will be the winner,
And Champion of this new season!

For Jimmie Johnson and Chad Knaus
Have been barred from this race!

And then in the twinkle of an eye,
These drivers were off like they were shot out of a cannon.

As Helton drew in his hand, and was about to shout,
Jimmie and Chad came in a screaming!

"Not fair, not Fair! We won this fair and square.
We are the champions, not them!"

Helton began pacing back and forth,
How could he fix this, for one and all?

Then suddenly a light went off,
"We will restart this race, and the 48 will race!"

"The winner of this race, will win the championship
And it will be fair for one and all!"

"So return to the start/finish line
And we will restart this race!"

So the race was off, heading into turn one,
Montoya gets loose and spins Johnson.

Johnson is out, and he cannot not win this race.
As the cars push each other, more and more spin and are out.

As they come to the finish line, it is Stewart, Gordon and Martin
All three pushing each other to the limit.

And it is Martin by a nose,
followed by Stewart and Gordon.

Mark has finally won his championship
Now he can say I am a Cup Champion.

As he got out of his car, he handed Helton the trophy,
"Next year, Helton, I will win this championship,
so tell Hunter, to make room for my name on that trophy!"

And as the drivers drove out of sight, I heard them all exclaim
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!!!"

By Ann Cowey


  1. It seems right now that is the only way a driver has a chance to win a championship. Lets hope Johnson and Knaus show takes an early retirement for 2010.

  2. I don't know if you saw the NASCAR Banquet last Friday night, but Ryan Newman suggested that they do just that. That the drivers and owners should contribute some money to them to retire early.

    Smoke and Greg Biffle agreed with that sentiment. Tony even suggested that they didn't have to retire permanent just for the next 5 or 10 years. lol

  3. Nice story, Ann. May be the only way for someone else to win a

    Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  4. Twas the night before xmas,
    I woke with a clatter

    Mark Martin the champ?
    whats all this chatter?

    Ok its the best I can do at 8:30 in the am...very entertaining TSFan! I think it would be more fun to have JJ race but have team orders to take him out just like roller derby. I've got BK and Slidin Sam on my team -- perfect!

  5. I liked it alot and you had me believing until you said Helton moved in a flash. Somethings are even beyond fantasy.

  6. Gene, it is starting to look that way.

    Merry Christmas to you and yours also.

  7. Kristen just couldn't take the chance that even in my imagination, he would sneak up and take it all way. lol

    I think you did pretty well for 8:30 in the morning.

  8. socal, I know, but I had to stick to the true format of the poem, or it just wouldn't be a knockoff "Twas the Night..." lol